The Smart Assistant That Never Listens

Hopelessly in love with smart tech but tired of the heartbreak? Sometimes, it’s best to unplug, embrace simplicity

I’ll admit it—I’m a hopeless techie. Much like the hopeless romantic, I fall head over heels for every shiny new gadget that promises to make life easier. But, as with any love affair, this one has its fair share of heartbreak. Take the world of “smart” assistants, for instance. These devices are supposed to respond to our every need with a quick “ding” or “I’m here to help,” but in practice? Well, I spent the better part of last Tuesday trying to convince my smart speaker that I didn’t, in fact, want it to play the entire catalog of Bach’s Brandenburg Concertos. Just getting it to turn off was like pleading with a stubborn child to go to bed.

They call them “assistants,” but sometimes I think these smart devices are more like untrained interns—well-intentioned but oblivious. There’s the time I asked my speaker to play some jazz, and instead it launched into a full-throttle workout playlist, leaving me scrambling to yell “STOP!” at the top of my lungs. It’s a strange new reality when you find yourself shouting at the air in your own living room, hoping the invisible assistant will pick up on the fact that you’ve had enough.

And the trouble doesn’t end there. These “assistants” are listening all the time—except, it seems, when you actually need them to. You say “Goodnight” expecting the lights to dim, and instead, they flicker like they’re haunted. You request a gentle reminder for a meeting at 10 a.m., and you get an alert at 3 in the morning. It’s enough to make anyone nostalgic for the days when “setting an alarm” simply meant winding a clock.

I remember back in the day when communication was straightforward. If you wanted the lights off, you walked over and flipped the switch. If you wanted jazz, you put on a record. Sure, it took a little extra effort, but you knew where you stood. Now, every command feels like a gamble—will it obey or will it misinterpret?

And don’t get me started on the privacy concerns. It’s hard to feel at ease in your own home when every device is sitting there, quietly listening, storing your data “for your convenience.” Back in simpler times, no one knew what you were up to unless you told them. Nowadays, it’s like having a nosy neighbor in every room.

At times like these, I like to imagine what the Luddites would have to say about our so-called “assistants.” They were suspicious of machines way before ours started spying on us. So, here’s today’s “Note from the Luddites” on these ever-listening gadgets:

“An assistant that doesn’t listen? We’d call that a failure in service, not a helper. We gave instructions face-to-face, and we were obeyed—or not at all. Perhaps a tool that listens too much and responds too little is no tool at all.”

So here we are, in an age where every appliance has a voice, yet none of them really hear us. Maybe there’s a lesson to be found in this world of mixed-up messages and endless commands. Sometimes, it’s best to do things the old-fashioned way—to reach over and turn the dial, to flick the switch, to take a break from asking a gadget to handle what our own hands could do. There’s peace in simplicity, and maybe, a bit of quiet too. And if your assistant won’t cooperate, well, don’t be afraid to unplug.

And, of course, don’t forget to reboot.